Daughter of the Vulture
2019 was a whirlwind for me. As you see my hair was short because at the time my stress level was so high it kept falling out. My skin would have crazy rashes, overall my nervous system was in shock. I was in therapy around this time as I was pulling all my pieces together after divorce and the sobering moment of my therapist saying I had experienced abuse. This was not physical, it was emotional, mental and verbal. Which lingers in a way that is hard to explain. Before social media buzz worthy words, my ex exhibited narcissistic behaviors. (I’m sure you’ve heard of it, if not Google will do you just.) I didn’t understand the affect of this until post separation.
It took me sometime to get to a place where I felt like myself again after losing so much of my identity in that relationship. This was difficult because I didn’t even know who that was anymore I had changed so much. Everything happened all at once and I was riding the dark and murky waves of what they call shadow work.
I purposefully stayed away from trying to keep it together and show false face by being overly positive. I gave myself permission to unravel, fall apart, break, destroy, feel unapologetic without permission. Basically saying “I wasn’t ok”.
That experience changed me dramatically as who I am is nowhere near who I was. I don’t even think I could back to being her in search of balancing my life. She no longer exists. I had no choice but to be myself without the elevator pitch.
Spiritually my father is Ausar who in the Kemetic tradition story speaks of him being broken into 14 pieces by his brother Setesh. That experience taught me a little bit about this in how by wisdom and devotion (Auset) we are able to pull ourselves together again to reclaim our higher consciousness (Ausar). I am truly his daughter known as Ausara KhetNeter. Dwelling in both the darkness and the light.
My mother is Nekhbet the vulture. In IFA her reflection is Ibu kole who sacrificed her physical beauty to request mercy from the creator and save humanity. In that since she faced her own darkness but with confidence. Nekhbet is purification not just of the spiritual since, but of your environment. She is the bone picker. She removes all things that are decomposed, decaying, dying not only inside of you but around you. So in this since as she is transformation of death into life/rebirth, so am I.
I have been involved in healing arts since the age of 13, as a recipient and later as a student/practitioner. Ausar and Nekhbet were with me the day I was born, which means I am equipped to handle the dark just as much as I handle the light. As a healer we know that work takes grit, honesty, and courage. To pull up the things we push down, sweep under the rug, push into the far back of our closets. So much so that we have created a false reality so deep the thought of darkness frightens us.
I accept my calling as a warrioress who’s superpower is to transform the darkness. Discomfort is an ally. With Anpu as my guide, it is an honor to serve.